#DoctorOz The following interview of my guest does not reflect my opinions.
Today I have a very special guest, Doctor Doze. He's best know as the Anti-Doctor Oz.
Me: Welcome to my blog, Doctor Doze.
Doze: I'm happy to be here, even though you don't have a following.
Me: I'm sure that'll change since you're here.
Doze: Well, it cannot hurt. Let me start by saying I don't like being called the "anti" Doctor Oz.
Me: Why not?
Doze: Because anti has a negative meaning and I'm an optimist unlike that pessimistic Doctor Oz.
Me: Pessimistic? How so?
Doze: Doctor Oz is always talking about antitoxins. What does he have against the toxins? They're part of socitey and should be embraced.
Me: I thought toxins are bad for you.
Doze: That's what he wants you to believe. The toxins actually strengthen your body by giving it something to fight against. Too many antitoxins makes your body lazy and unable to deal with the toxins on its own.
Me: Interesting theory. So, Doctor Doze, where did you receive your degree?
Doze: In a little island that most people haven't heard about. It's very progressive. There was even a witch doctor teaching a course in ancient remedies.
Me: Sounds fascinating. What made you decide to study medicine?
Doze: Okra.
Me: You mean Oprah?
Doze: No, okra, the slimy yelky vegetable. My mom forced me to eat it as a child. I knew I would grow up to one day become a doctor and prove to her that okra is bad for you. I accomplished my goal, but she still doesn't believe that okra is a terrible food.
Me: I agree that boiled okra isn't good, but I enjoy okra if it's fried.
Doze: Never say fried in front of Doctor Oz. He considers it the
"f-word."
Me: Duly noted.
Doze: Before I forget, I must mention something else about Doctor Oz. He's anti-WCL
Me: What's WCL.
Doze: World Coffee Lovers of which I'm a member. Last week he proposed a diet that completely eliminated coffee. That's not American, but what can you expect from a TL.
Me: What's a TL?
Doze: Tea lover. He loves tea so much that if he was at the Boston Tea Party, Doctor Oz would have jumped in the water and carried the tea back to shore. What's with that look you're giving me? Don't tell me that you're a TL.
Me: Actually, I drink both coffee and tea.
Doze: Figures. Some people can't seem to commit to one or the other. Do you know something else I don't like about Doctor Oz, he...
Me: I hate to interrupt you, Doctor Doze, but our time is up. Thank you for visiting my blog, Doctor Doze.
Doze: I guess you're welcomed, but I will only come back if you get some followers.
That concludes my interview with Doctor Doze.
Disclaimer: Doctor Doze is a made up character and not a real doctor.
